THE MOVIE :
LOOPER
THE DRINK :
 SKYY VODKA DRAGONFRUIT MINIS

  I was not aware that there was a Hyvee in Madison.  When I went in to buy popcorn cheese and alcohol minis it all became crystal clear.   Hyvee is basically the Target of grocery stores.  Everyone there is a crabby rich lesbian, or wishes they were.  I zipped up and down the aisles looking for popcorn cheese to sneak into the theater, because for some reason movie theaters don't cough up the couple of extra bucks it would take to make me actually buy the popcorn that supposedly keeps them in the black.  I mean, seriously, if my business was mainly funded by food and drink profits, I sure as hell would get more creative than just selling plain popcorn, souir patch kids, and friggin pretzel nubbins with bland cheese dip.
     So as  I dodged dirty looks from lesbian and IT employed couples for wearing athletic shoes and sweat pants, I grabbed the cheese and ducked into the attached liquor store.  I thought I would be safe there, but it turned out to be one giant wine rack infested with crabby couples trying to decide what the cheapest expensive wine was so they could look cool without facing reality about how not rich they were. Luckily this was the perfect place to buy mini bottles of some failed alcohol that did not pass the hipster handbook test.
     So I sat in the theater sprinkling cheese on my giant tub of popcorn and sipping surprisingly un-gross marriage of potato alcohol and dragonfruit.
     Looper is really good.  I don't really feel like giving too much away, except for the fact that it follows the simple, yet so often ignored formula of story before action.  And the action is awesome, so imagine how great the story is.  A few words of advice: Don't waste your time trying to figure out how Gordon Joseph Levitt's make-up is applied.  Don't buy the cheap popcorn cheese.  Most importantly, do not, DO NOT try to figure out time paradox.  Multiple times during the movie the characters themselves say they don't feel like talking about time paradox. So please, take their advice and don't worry about it. You do not really know what the actual consequences of time travel would be, so just accept the fact that anyone's interpretation of time travel could be accurate.  When the movie ended half the theater stayed seated and discussed with their friends about how this and that could have happened. Fail.   I had to take a major leak from all the Coke and dragonfruit I had been drinking .  Thanks to all the failed movie goers, the bathroom was nearly empty.  Nearly. A guy in a suit was at one of two unusually close urinals.  I ignored him like you're supposed to, but he just had to say " so have you figured out the time parts of that movie?"
     I looked straight ahead at the wall like you're supposed to and said " I'm pretty sure that Bruce Willis himself told you not to worry about it."  The guy laughed , but cut it short, realizing he had been dissed.
I'm sure his future self is thanking me though.