Another Earth

Movie:  Another Earth
Drink:  Pina Colada, and something yet un-named




     "Let me mix you a drink," my pal said.  Now, I am not a drink snob, having guzzled my share of Four Loco or slurped spilled champagne off of the table top.  But this brown, pungent glass of liquid with bubbles struggling to break its bleak surface made me pause.  It was bad.  It was vanilla Coke and Gordon's gin.  When my ears and lips ceased smoking, the pal said he would fix it by adding triple sec and if by "fixing" it he meant creating the world's first drinkable Vick's Vapo-rub, then by Jove , he did it!
     Now, I usually would have been sneaking some sort of spirits in to some sort of movie theater, but unless I want to see an animated Christmas flop (let's face it, after Nightmare Before Christmas, why does anyone even try?) or watch some Aeropostale vampire sink more than just his fangs into his lady friend, I'm forced to watch movies at home.
     Another Earth was,well, depressing.  I should have been watching it alone on a pleasantly moody rainy weekend afternoon instead  of an actually depressing Tuesday evening running on 3 hours sleep.  It had some beautiful footage, and some interesting concepts.  I admit that I was distracted by my fish sticks burning in the oven and the huge pina colada freezing my brain.
    I often wonder how movies like the recent remake of Conan the Barbarian ever make it into production, and now I know.  Sometimes you just aren't ready for a dose of beauty and thought.  Instead of a perfectly steamed cappuccino with hearts drawn in the foam, you want a gallon travel mug of Folgers, heavy on the coffee mate.
    I plan on getting in the right frame of mind, watch the Weather Channel for rain, and rent this movie again to give it a fair shot.  Until then, you'll have to excuse me, The Hangover 2 is on, and my fish sticks are done.

Movie: Life in a Day
Drink:  An incredible mix of Dr. Pepper, Mr. Boston rum, and triple sec.  When I say "incredible"  I refer to the definition; not credible; hard to believe;

I had just polished off a couple of double cheeseburgers, put on my tv-watching pants, had the aforementioned drink mixed and delivered by a pal of mine, when we all began the labor intensive process of grubbing around the Netflix options to try to find a free flick we could all agree on.  The pal was partial to holiday themed murder movies.  I could only handle so much of a crazed Santa with glowing red eyes or a turkey somehow using an ax on some unsuspecting pilgrims.  The pal's wife kept going gaga for anything with a wedding or a wedding planner or a wedding reception, or a bridesmaid or probably , really, any movie that started with a 'W' and had a male and female character in it somewhere.  Except for Harold and Maude.  I'm pretty sure she hates that one.

     So, when I saw the cover title of Life in a Day flit by, I pounced on it like I was at a Chinese buffet and some fresh, hot, crisp crab rangoons where just placed between the broccoli and the fake crab meat chunks swimming in mysterious white sauce.  "You'll love this one!" I gushed with what I hoped was enough enthusiasm to get my way.

     And it was good!   A perfect mix of people I could relate to, people I wanted to relate to , and people I hoped were related to people who did not tend toward long life. It may have been the drink, but I found myself constantly forgetting that all the videos took place on one day, July 24th. I would recommend really concentrating on that fact.  That, when a small boy is tending to a shrine  to his dead mother that is lovingly placed in a pleasant corner of an otherwise jam-packed disaster of an apartment, two dudes are roaming the wide open countryside with a herd of goats.  That while a man stands in the doorway of his crumbling dirt house saying that his wife is dead and he can't work because then no one would be able to be with his kids, a complete douche-bag slyly pulls a key to his lamborghini out of his pocket and slips behind the wheel as if buying a car is an accomplishment only he has mastered.  I shall never forget the shit-eating grin on his face as he looks into the camera, pleading for approval.

     During the scene in which a man shoots a cow in the head with that bolt gun thing that slaughterhouses use, the pal's wife cried and left the room, moaning " that was somebody's mother!"  By this time I had moved on to eating beef covered nachos.  I crunched away wondering how she could tell a cow on t.v. had ever given birth.  Must be something other mothers can tell.

     The only complaint I have is that, towards the end of the day the director decides to predictably do the whole " human beings are both beautiful and ugly" thing.  Lots of flashing lights, fighting, general funk.  Not too much, but enough to make me ask for another Incredible drink.  I took a long swig and ended up spilling a large splash on the carpet.  The tiny little toy rat terrier pranced in and proceeded to suck the carpet dry.  Anyway, I don't need to see scenes of humans behaving badly to know that they do.  Seeing people act like dweebs is something I see every time I go into a Walmart or watch public television.

     Life in a Day really made me think, really made me feel.  I actually felt this weird pride in being human, that we are not all as lame as we think.  That is, until I saw yet another Lexus commercial where some pasty, manicured cake-sniffer in a sweater receives a car wrapped in a bow.  Humans are lame.