Friday, December 2, 2011

Movie: Life in a Day
Drink:  An incredible mix of Dr. Pepper, Mr. Boston rum, and triple sec.  When I say "incredible"  I refer to the definition; not credible; hard to believe;






I had just polished off a couple of double cheeseburgers, put on my tv-watching pants, had the aforementioned drink mixed and delivered by a pal of mine, when we all began the labor intensive process of grubbing around the Netflix options to try to find a free flick we could all agree on.  The pal was partial to holiday themed murder movies.  I could only handle so much of a crazed Santa with glowing red eyes or a turkey somehow using an ax on some unsuspecting pilgrims.  The pal's wife kept going gaga for anything with a wedding or a wedding planner or a wedding reception, or a bridesmaid or probably , really, any movie that started with a 'W' and had a male and female character in it somewhere.  Except for Harold and Maude.  I'm pretty sure she hates that one.
     So, when I saw the cover title of Life in a Day flit by, I pounced on it like I was at a Chinese buffet and some fresh, hot, crisp crab rangoons where just placed between the broccoli and the fake crab meat chunks swimming in mysterious white sauce.  "You'll love this one!" I gushed with what I hoped was enough enthusiasm to get my way.
     And it was good!   A perfect mix of people I could relate to, people I wanted to relate to , and people I hoped were related to people who did not tend toward long life. It may have been the drink, but I found myself constantly forgetting that all the videos took place on one day, July 24th. I would recommend really concentrating on that fact.  That, when a small boy is tending to a shrine  to his dead mother that is lovingly placed in a pleasant corner of an otherwise jam-packed disaster of an apartment, two dudes are roaming the wide open countryside with a herd of goats.  That while a man stands in the doorway of his crumbling dirt house saying that his wife is dead and he can't work because then no one would be able to be with his kids, a complete douche-bag slyly pulls a key to his lamborghini out of his pocket and slips behind the wheel as if buying a car is an accomplishment only he has mastered.  I shall never forget the shit-eating grin on his face as he looks into the camera, pleading for approval.
     During the scene in which a man shoots a cow in the head with that bolt gun thing that slaughterhouses use, the pal's wife cried and left the room, moaning " that was somebody's mother!"  By this time I had moved on to eating beef covered nachos.  I crunched away wondering how she could tell a cow on t.v. had ever given birth.  Must be something other mothers can tell.
     The only complaint I have is that, towards the end of the day the director decides to predictably do the whole " human beings are both beautiful and ugly" thing.  Lots of flashing lights, fighting, general funk.  Not too much, but enough to make me ask for another Incredible drink.  I took a long swig and ended up spilling a large splash on the carpet.  The tiny little toy rat terrier pranced in and proceeded to suck the carpet dry.  Anyway, I don't need to see scenes of humans behaving badly to know that they do.  Seeing people act like dweebs is something I see every time I go into a Walmart or watch public television.
     Life in a Day really made me think, really made me feel.  I actually felt this weird pride in being human, that we are not all as lame as we think.  That is, until I saw yet another Lexus commercial where some pasty, manicured cake-sniffer in a sweater receives a car wrapped in a bow.  Humans are lame.

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