Due Date

The Drink: A flask containing super expensive Herradura tequila mixed with super cheap Gold Crown vodka.


     I was out driving around trying to find an ATM belonging to Bank of America because I just started an account with them and received my debit card in the mail and had to activate at an ATM.  But this huge and useless bank neglected to send a pin number along with the card.  So there I am standing in the cold November air at a drive through ATM poking uselessly at buttons on the touch screen with my gloves on.
     There was a Hannaford grocery right next door so I took my other card that I got in a small town bank that actually not only sat me down with a nice old lady and gave me a pin number but asked me deep and moving questions about my life and future plans, and bought a bottle of Gold Crown vodka.  There was a big tag on it saying how I was supporting local business because it was bottled in Lewiston, Maine, so I felt pretty good about the 6.99 I spent.
    I went home and got ready to see Due Date with some friends.   My roommate has a wonderful compulsive disorder that forces him to buy top shelf booze, so I was half way through filling my flask with Herradura tequila when I heard the key in the lock outside and bolted up to my room.  I fished around under my bed for the Gold Crown and topped off the flask.
    Booze in pocket and friends in car, we all drove towards the Saco Cinemagic.  We realized we would be a good half hour early, so we whipped a U turn and headed for the beach at 9 p.m.  The waves and stars almost overshadowed the fact that the beach closes at 9,  and the threat of small town bored cops looking for a thrill weighed heavy on my mind.
     On to the movie....
     It was like I had never seen comedy before.  I was sitting there sipping hot vodka-tinged tequila while these people tried to be funny on screen. They succeeded. And then I was on the verge of tears.  It was like the smoked almonds I was eating were the funny parts, and then they were coated with a searing wave of serious, yet heart-lifting booze. A perfect combination.  This movie made me realize that the bad parts of life are really the good parts, and that the strange, off-kilter oddball can be as important  to you as the responsible family man.   Just when I thought the comedy had gone too far, the action played the part of the mediator and brought the drama back to the party where it had been sulking in the corner.  We all laughed and groaned and hid our budding tears with gusto, and so did everyone else in the room.  That's why we see movies in the theater, right?   Who wants to pretend they aren't crying in a pre-fab living room with a 52 inch plasma tv and surround sound with a bunch of friends around when you are watching a comedy?
     Not me.